RUNNING OUT OF YOUTH

It's New Year's Eve 2019. You're at a house party with your best friends, gushing about how 2020 is going to be your year, before taking that vodka shot that will decidedly finish you off for the night. You have a girl's holiday to Magaluf planned for July after you're set to have completed the A-Levels that you've had way too many sleepless nights over, working tirelessly for those three A's necessary to get into your top choice university in September. But all that hard work will be worth it when you have the best summer of your life as a freshly turned eighteen-year-old dancing all night long at music festivals, looking dazzling at prom (hoping and praying you don't despise your makeup and hair like you did at year eleven prom) and having an emotional leavers. And finally, at the end of summer, you and the friends you've had all throughout school will go your separate ways to universities across the UK - but you'll have an unforgettable freshers week! Except, this is not how this year has panned out.

I have so many friends who've missed out on what is deemed the most unforgettable summer of their lives where they join adulthood and have one final extended period of time with their friends before everything changes in the autumn term. As teenagers, we understand that this is such a trivial issue and that if missing out on our summer plans is our biggest problem right now then we are amongst the lucky ones, but it doesn't make the situation any less disappointing. I was supposed to have the summer of my life working at a summer camp in New Jersey, and instead, I am sitting in my messy room writing this and scrounging all the food in the fridge every few hours simply as a result of boredom. The premise of what I'm trying to say is that so many teenagers feel as though they have been stripped of a valuable year of being young, viewing youth as a ticking time bomb that is going at a very hasty rate. We grow up watching shows like Skins and Sex Education and wondering when our lives will finally consist of alcohol, partying, dating, sex and all of the things we see in these coming-of-age TV shows. We're conditioned to believe we aren't living our lives to the fullest unless we're out with our friends making memories every day, and I certainly fell victim to this myself. Even without a lockdown in previous years, if I had a weekend of sitting at home watching Netflix I felt like a bit of a failure, thinking 'Am I really going to look back on my teenage years like this?'. For so many people, the summer after you finish school is the summer to finally live a life (somewhat) like what we see in movies and on TV so missing out on this can feel genuinely disheartening, not just because a holiday or a festival was cancelled but because that was a memory, a piece of the puzzle connecting your youth together - without these clubbing or festival or holiday puzzle pieces are we even completing youth? 

There is a narrative ingrained into the minds of young people that we have to be fulfilling all these activities that symbolise being a teenager before about twenty as that's when life becomes centred around responsibility and work. Can we be blamed? It really is all we see growing up. So many films like The Perks of Being a Wallflower or 10 Things I Hate About You display 'coming of age' as strictly the years before you finish high school, where you 'find yourself'. This idea of 'finding yourself' becomes displayed as the product of finding love, going to parties, being rebellious, etcetera. So what happens when you come to the end of your school years and rather than living a life like you see in films, you're a virgin or struggling with your sexuality or have never been to a party? You feel incomplete and dissatisfied with the way you have lived your life. This is a legitimate issue facing teenagers year after year, however, things were inevitably going to get worse when a global pandemic struck. The summer where you had planned to 'find yourself' has been cancelled. This is hard enough without freshers being cancelled as well! Teens feel as though this period of time has been robbed from them, and they are dying for normality to finally go clubbing, spend the night at their crush's house, drive around blasting music all night long and live that romanticised movie teen lifestyle.

Fortunately, I was able to live that 'ideal' carefree youthful summer with my friends last year, and I did have a fresher's week. Whilst I know I am so lucky to have done all of that, I don't feel as though all of those experiences pieced together to complete my youth. I felt I was so focused on making sure I was busy all the time meeting friends and doing fun things that it all went by in such a blur and I failed to appreciate it all. I wish someone had told me to completely and genuinely live in the moment. Cliché I know, but it is so true. Take the time to be still in every moment you are living or else you'll look back in regret. You can have music festivals and trips to Magaluf multiple times throughout summer but if you can't take the time to sit back and appreciate where you are and what you're doing then it becomes useless. Throughout lockdown, I can sincerely say I have learned to see the beauty in every situation and to romanticize every moment I am living, even the nights I am lying in my bed scrolling through TikTok for hours on end. Rather than feeling like my day has been wasted, I appreciate that this is what I am doing right now and I am at peace and that truly is the meaning of life. Nothing is permanent, and this time next year (hopefully) things will be back to what we would consider 'normality' but we need to be certain that we take on a different mindset. 

Movies and TV shows are unrealistic. Don't feel bummed out that you're eighteen and not slow-motion dancing in the club or understanding your sexuality completely. Don't feel bummed out that you don't have a sex life or aren't constantly out with friends. Everything that is meant to come your way will, and it is a journey that doesn't stop once you leave high school. I'm nineteen now, and I am honestly more excited for my twenties to be my real youthful and fun era. Even my thirties. Life gets exciting once you can learn to appreciate every moment and every experience, not when you reach a certain age. Likewise, young adults nowadays need to avoid using social media as a means to compare their lives to everyone else's. As someone who is always using Instagram and Snapchat, admittedly I only post the moments where I'm doing something that looks fun, which in reality is only about 20% of the week during the lockdown. It's dangerously unhealthy, and I'm only just learning to live my life my OWN way, not as a comparison to anyone else.

Let's collectively use this lockdown to appreciate every day, and see the beauty in everything. After all, there really is only now.